Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  January 10, 2014 12:35am-1:36am PST

12:35 am
world, the honkytonk world, and more of a hillbilly fan base. and she grew up in the christian world. and we were afraid, when we first got married, to mix the hillbillies and the christians together. so we found that the christmas music wound up being the best place for that. then, after all these years, we found out we were singing to the same people all this time. >> jay: yeah, okay. >> i would get them liquored up on saturday night. she'd save them on sunday morning. >> jay: wow, that's pretty good. [ applause ] i want to thank you. you have been -- you have been a good friend to the show as well. you have been coming here for 20 years. >> yeah, over 20 years. >> jay: yeah, i want to thank you for that. >> well, we want to do the same thing. the country music community is better off because you were so kind to it over all these years. >> jay: well, i always liked country music. and you got a lot of stuff going, a lot of great coverage on this one as well. >> yes, that's buck owens and merle haggard. bakersfield, just a couple hours north. >> jay: vince, thank you very much, buddy. >> thank you. >> jay: great having you. leslie, thank you as much for all of your kind words. that's very nice. david, thank you for your work. that didn't make sense at all,
12:36 am
but thank you. thank you. they were good work. thanks, everybody. jimmy fallon coming up now! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right! hey! hey, everybody! wow.
12:37 am
[ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about right there. thank you! thank you very much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. how you feeling? good? [ cheers and applause ] that's what i'm talking about. thank you very, very much. i -- i'm so -- i am so sorry i was late getting out here. apparently i pissed off chris christie and he popped the tires on my city bike. and i just -- [ laughter ] yeah. this isn't good here. new jersey governor chris christie is dealing with a scandal after it was revealed that a top aide shut down access to the george washington bridge to get back at a democratic mayor for not endorsing him. christie was furious when they blocked the bridge, because he thought they said they were blocking the fridge. he was like, "what? [ laughter ] not on my watch, man! who i got to kill? who do i got to eat? kill, i meant kill!" [ applause ]
12:38 am
oh. some say this could ruin christie's chances of being elected president in 2016, while hilary clinton said, "party!" ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ [ rythmic clapping ] ♪ [ cheers ] [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] ♪ sharon jones! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] yeah! looks good. throw it back.
12:39 am
hey! i'll put it down there. sharon jones right there on hot sax. [ cheers and applause ] i love you. oh, man. actually, though, chris christie held a press conference today to address the bridge scandal where he insisted that he is not a bully. and he will sit on anyone who says otherwise. [ laughter and applause ] "say you're sorry." [ light laughter ] dribble to -- some -- quick. here's some more political news. today president obama announced a new plan to create things called "promise zones" in parts of the country where the economy still needs help. "promise zones"? sounds less like an economic plan, more like something your parents would say during the sex talk. [ laughter ] "remember, gary, you should wait until you're in love before touching someone's promise zone." [ laughter and applause ] "okay." ♪ hot sax.
12:40 am
>> steve: hot sax? >> jimmy: hot sax! ♪ [ cheers ] the reed broke on that one, yeah. >> steve: she dropped the reed. yeah i saw that. >> jimmy: speaking of the president though, yesterday obama gave photographers a rare chance to take pictures of his weekly lunch with joe biden. then biden told his friends, "told you i knew the president." [ laughter ] of course, one of the big stories this week has been the polar vortex. i've never said that word ever. those two words. [ light laughter ] the polar vortex. this massive cold front that's caused some of the coldest temperatures ever recorded. with that in mind, it's time for "how cold is it?" with the roots. ♪ ♪ how cold is it how cold is it ♪ >> brrrr! >> jimmy: hey, roots. how cold is it? >> jimmy, it's so cold that subway's selling $5 inch longs. [ laughter ]
12:41 am
>> questlove: it's so cold that simon cowell's nipples went back inside. [ light laughter ] >> it's so cold the most popular sport in the winter olympics is not dying. [ laughter ] >> it's so cold, my thermometer just says, "oh, hell no!" [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: there we go. thank you, guys. thank you very much. that was "how cold is it?" with the roots. oh, hell no. this is a smart idea. walgreens has announced that it will start making home deliveries of cold medicines to people who are too sick to go outside. then people checked the weather outside and they're like, "i also need toilet paper, cigarettes, light bulbs and beer for my cold. [ laughter and applause ] i need that for my cold, too. and a frozen pizza." this is kind of cool. yesterday at the vatican, pope francis was greeting the public when he spotted an old friend in the crowd and invited the man to ride in the pope mobile. just goes to show you, even the
12:42 am
pope likes showing off to his old friends. [ light laughter ] yeah. "who's prom king now, brad? [ applause ] oh, wrong side of the road? sorry." you know, one of the things i like about this time of year is getting a new calendar. [ laughter ] yep. of course, a lot of people always look forward to the new york firemen calendar. [ cheers ] very popular, but that's not the only new york-related calendar out there. let's take a look at some of these other ones here. first, the "12 worst photos of the statue of liberty." that's a great calendar. [ laughter ] then there's, "buildings in bikinis." i don't know what that is, but looks fun. next we have "people on subways eating subway." that's a rare thing. [ cheers and applause ] then, of course, you have "tiny cab drivers." [ laughter ] i got the one from 2013. it's equally good. and finally, we have "cops on
12:43 am
horses, horses on cops." that's a very popular calendar. [ cheers and applause ] in stores this year. go check them out. this is pretty interesting. a new study found that babies as young as 9 months can tell the difference between friends and enemies. it's raised a lot of questions, like, "what kind of babies have enemies?" [ laughter ] that jerk won't stop bragging about his tooth coming in. [ light laughter ] babies as young as 9 months can tell the difference between friends and enemies, but it takes them until they're 10 months old to figure out their frenemies. "nice onesie, becca." [ laughter and applause ] speaking of babies, this is kind of scary. police are warning that criminals can hack into baby monitors and listen in on people's private conversations, and then use that information to rob them. i could see where this might work. listen to this example. >> hey, did you have a good night's sleep? you ready for your bottle? hey, honey, did you tell tom and marie that we can't make dinner tonight? no.
12:44 am
i asked you to tell marie. yes i did. this morning, i specifically remember, because you said you wanted omelets and i thought you said, "did you talk to tom yet?" and i said, no, and asked if you could talk to marie. whatever. whatever. i'll take care of it. by the way, remember to hide all of our money and jewelry in the third drawer under the socks in case any criminals come to rob us. >> jimmy: that makes sense. better watch it. [ cheers and applause ] you never know. ah, this is a crazy story. earlier, earlier this week a man in california tried to rob a bank. but ran into trouble when the bank teller couldn't read the note he gave her. [ laughter ] yeah, the teller was like, "you want me to fill this bag with ten marlin dubers?" [ laughter and applause ] ten marlin dubers? ah -- here's some local news here. this is kind of a big deal. a small plane recently had to make an emergency landing right in the middle of the bronx. yep. everyone on board managed to escape with minor injuries while
12:45 am
the plane was stolen. [ laughter and applause ] there you go. very classy. and finally, a new poll found that most americans don't think using marijuana is as dangerous as drinking alcohol. i can see that. i mean, if you drink, you can crash your car. if you smoke weed, you'll just forget where you parked. we have great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
12:46 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right! the one and only sharon jones, from sharon jones and the dap kings. [ cheers and applause ] sitting in with the roots tonight. welcome! thank you so much. here's their new album. "give the people what they want," which they will be playing a song from on our show tomorrow night, but thanks so much for being here tonight, sharon. we love you. >> thank you. love you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have great show tonight. she's one of the funniest people ever. she has a new comedy special on own. the hilarious wanda sykes is here! [ cheers and applause ] always funny. i'm psyched to have this guy on the show. he's never been on before, but god, i'm a giant fan of this guy. from the critically acclaimed film "inside llewyn davis," the very talented f. murray abraham is on the show! [ cheers and applause ] he's awesome. and we have great music from parquet courts, are going to be here tonight! [ cheers and applause ]
12:47 am
they're good. they're good. good music from those guys. i love music. today's thursday, and that means it's time to count down the hottest songs at the top of the charts right now. here we go. number three, we've got "counting stars" by one republic. [ applause ] 20 people like that song. [ light laughter ] number two, we have "timber," by pit bull featuring kesha. [ cheers and applause ] that's a jam. that's a jam. and holding steady at number one, it's "the monster" by eminem featuring rihanna. [ cheers and applause ] fantastic song, too. so those are the top three songs. now lets take a look at the songs at the bottom of the charts. number 97, we've got "auld lang syne" by pee-wee herman. [ light laughter ] i didn't know he was making music. do we have a clip of that song? ♪ should old acquaintance be forgot la la la la la la ♪ >> i always forget the words. >> jimmy: that's it right there. said he forgot the words. >> steve: it's the album that he really -- >> jimmy: coming in at number
12:48 am
98, this one is called "whoa" by joey lawrence. [ cheers ] is that joey lawrence from the show, "blossom"? >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: he's from "blossom." let's take a listen to that one. ♪ whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa ♪ ♪ whoa whoa whoa whoa wock-n-wol ♪ >> jimmy: wow. number 99, we've got "wrecking ball" spoken angrily by regis philbin. [ laughter ] let's listen to that one. do we have that one? [ regis's voice ] >> i came in like the wrecking ball! there i was, i never hit so hard in love. joy was there. tony bennett was over here and all you did was, wre-e-eck me! we're having a great time and and you're wre-e-e-ecking me! >> jimmy: and finally, at number 100, all the way at the bottom of the charts, here's "guy who admitted to letting the dogs out" by the baha men's next door neighbor. >> steve: oh. this is a great song.
12:49 am
>> jimmy: this is a good one let's listen to that one. [ barking ] ♪ i let the dogs out it was me me me me ♪ ♪ i let the dogs out it was me me me me ♪ ♪ who let the dogs out i did i i did it ♪ ♪ i did it [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh. we'll be right back with "late night" hash tags, everybody! oh "hash tags" is fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [announcer] welcome to the all-new intuit quickbooks. do more than ever before with it. make any place your place of business with it. get paid faster with it. run payroll with it. sync this stuff with that stuff with it. make more time for what you love with it. turn on only what you need with it. sample from our smorgasbord of apps with it. take in the big picture with it.
12:50 am
see your finances in a whole new way with it. this is your business on the all-new quickbooks. run with it. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. we had a crv and then we had the pilot. you got more with the ford escape... i'm glad we got the escape and we switched. yay! for me, it was driving the ford escape... it's that foot-activated liftgate... and i don't have to do all this... yeah, i'm filling up a lot less than i did with my honda... woooh!
12:51 am
if you were to compare the honda crv to this... i definitely like the ford better... awesome! (laughs) [ male announcer ] new vicks dayquil severe. helps relieve your ugliest, nastiest, roughest, toughest cold symptoms. new dayquil severe. with maximum symptom fighting ingredients. ♪ new vicks nyquil severe. helps relieve your ugliest, nastiest, roughest, toughest nighttime cold symptoms. new nyquil severe. with maximum symptom fighting ingredients. ♪ witholive garden'som fighting signature favorites weeknights are for favorites. now just $10. including everyone's favorite fettuccine alfredo and our classic lasagna.
12:52 am
plus unlimited soup or salad, and warm breadsticks. signature favorites now just ten dollars, monday through thursday, at olive garden. [ mom ] time for breakfast. [ male announcer ] mary larson will never forget the fateful morning that deliciously simple made her a believer. she couldn't believe she could pronounce everything in it. ♪ and she couldn't believe her daughter chose pancakes over her phone. you're being weird! [ male announcer ] new deliciously simple from i can't believe it's not butter! with 100% taste and zero artificial preservatives. it's time to...believe.
12:53 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. thank you so much for tuning in. it's time for "late night" hashtags! here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hashtags hashtags hashtags hashtags hashtags ♪ >> jimmy: you guys are on twitter, right? [ cheers and applause ] it's fun. we use twitter. actually, i got on trouble on twitter last night. >> steve: oh yeah. >> jimmy: so, last night, last night was the people's choice awards. it was on last night. right? we were nominated, and so i -- i didn't know -- [ applause ] so, i'm sitting there. i didn't know it was on. and i was watching the new "real world," by the way. it's awesome this season. [ laughter ] it's really, really good. they switched it up a little bit. it's really, really good. so, i'm in to that, watching
12:54 am
that, and i figured i'd just check my twitter. i check, and it's all of these people that saw me, saying, "congratulations, you won people's choice award." best late night host. i go, no kidding? that's like 20 people. so i go, i just kind of tweet and i go, "to everyone at the people's choice awards, thank you so much for this award -- i appreciate it. and i want to thank you all of my fans for voting for me. and to the people and thank you so much." i put my phone down, watching "the real world." it gets juicy. [ laughter ] it's really good. so, about an hour passes, i just check my twitter everyone's like, you didn't win the award. [ laughter ] [ sad tuba ] stephen colbert won the people's choice award. [ laughter and applause ] so now, what do i do now? so i go, i'm like, "sorry to bother everybody. [ laughter ] it's come to my attention that in fact i did not win the people's choice award, and that glass statue that resembles a
12:55 am
tear went to stephen colbert." [ laughter ] i want to say congratulations to stephen colbert. he does a great show over there. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, i accepted for him. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i accepted for him. >> steve: that's what it was. >> jimmy: he couldn't make it so i accepted for him. >> steve: via twitter. >> jimmy: via twitter, yeah. the future's here, everybody. well, we use twitter on our show every week. so, if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every week, where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so i went on twitter, i started a hashtag called, "my weird waiter." and i asked you guys to tweet a funny or weird story about a waiter or waitress you've had. we sent in one tweet. out to dinner the other night, and the guy said, "do you want your meal now or in 30 to 45 minutes?" [ laughter ] anyways -- now. we want it now. we got thousands of tweets. in fact, within a half hour it was a trending topic in the united states. so thank you for those tweets! [ cheers and applause ] so now i thought i'd share some of my favorite, "my weird waiter" tweets from you guys.
12:56 am
this first one's from @cabcool8. she says, "we asked our waitress what she recommended. and she pointed to the restaurant across the street." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: honesty. >> jimmy: honesty, yeah. this next one's from @ukmatt41 who says, "the restaurant ran out of ketchup. the waiter told me he ketchup packets in his car if i wanted them." [ light laughter ] thanks a lot, budy. [ laughter and applause ] one from @kylemolin. he says "direct quote, 'can you tip me in cash bro? i think i'm getting fired in about 20 minutes.'" [ laughter and applause ] come on, dude i'm getting thrown outta here, man, anything. >> steve: i peed in your soup. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from one from @mainemeryl. she says, "my date asked, 'what's tiramisu?' the waitress hesitated and said, 'well it's --' then looked at me and said, 'do you know?'" [ laughter ] a dessert. it's from @jodesaroo, she says -- "i was dining alone and the waiter sang 'all by myself' every time he went past my table."
12:57 am
[ laughter and applause ] ♪ all by myself don't wanna eat, no ♪ that's pretty funny. [ laughter ] this one's from @littlefigskids. he said, "our waiter asked me if i was still bone nibbling on my chicken wings." [ laughter ] >> steve: that wasn't a waiter. >> jimmy: that wasn't a waiter? [ laughter ] ♪ >> steve: it wasn't -- bone nibbling. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. ♪ >> questlove: hot sax. >> jimmy: all right. [ laughter and applause ] [ hot sax music ] ♪ ♪ come on!
12:58 am
♪ [ rythmic clapping ] oh, you dropped it? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: don't worry about it. we'll get it later. we'll get it later. it happens all the time. it's a tiny sax. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: from @spyro. she says, "i had a waiter tell me that there couldn't possibly be a hair in my salad because the guy that tosses the salads is bald." [ laughter and applause ] okay. >> steve: -- he's bald. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @alecdbryant. he says, "my friend asked, 'can i order off the kids' menu?' and our waiter said, 'if you call me daddy.'" >> steve: what? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: bone nibbling on him. >> steve: bone nibbling time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. then he said, "it's bone
12:59 am
nibbling time"? that's weird. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the chicken wing place. >> steve: yeah exactly, that's what it's called. bone nibbling time. >> jimmy: this one @shambelia. she says, "my server asked me, 'how does it feel?' instead of, 'how is everything?'" [ laughter ] how does it feel? >> steve: like a rolling stone? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how does it feel to eat foood? i got no teeth. [ laughter ] this one's from @theburbdaddy. he said, "i told my waiter that my potato was bad. he picked it up and said, 'bad potato' and said 'if it ever gives you any more trouble, tell me.'" [ laughter and applause ] i'll turn it into a french fry! got me? this one's from @daniscool36. he says, "the waiter asked if it was anyones birthday. i said 'no.' he said, 'well, it's mine,' and gave us all cake." [ applause ] free cake, that's cool. >> steve: that's nice. ♪ all by myself ♪ >> jimmy: happy birthday!
1:00 am
♪ don't want to be >> steve: need any salt? no, i have my tears. [ laughter ] this last one is from @ashleyfarris. she says, "after we paid our waiter said, 'enjoy the rest of your life!'" [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. those are tonight's "late night" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to latenightwith jimmyfallon.com/hashtags. we'll be back with wanda sykes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ that it's given me time toabout reflect on some of life'seen biggest questions. like, if you could save hundreds on car insurance by making one simple call, why wouldn't you make that call? see, the only thing i can think of is that you can't get any... bars. ah, that's better. it's a beautiful view.
1:01 am
i wonder if i can see mt. rushmore from here. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. woman: you were right, that loaded breakfast sandwich was loaded. eggs, bacon, ham -- man: and cheese. i'll get the bill. woman: it's okay. it's on me. man: but the sandwiches were only $4 each. woman: i know. that's why it's on me. [ bell dings ] waitress: hey, welcome to denny's. try head & shoulders for men. you can reach polamalu levels of flake-free scalp and hairness.
1:02 am
check it. ♪ seven benefits every bottle. [ male announcer ] head & shoulders for men.
1:03 am
1:04 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. our first guest is an emmy award-winning comedian and actress who stars in and produces a brand new comedy special titled "herlarious" which airs saturday night at 10:00 p.m. on own. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, wanda sykes! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wanda sykes! we love you. >> i love you. i love y'all! >> jimmy: welcome back to the show, welcome back. >> good to be back. here's the thing, though. i was here your first year. yeah. and now i'm here at the end. >> jimmy: yeah. >> did you bring me back to help
1:05 am
you pack some stuff up, or what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is interesting right? yeah, yeah. >> you wanted to move. >> jimmy: yeah, we're just moving. >> can you grab that while you're on your way out? >> jimmy: come on, wanda. it's gonna be a less sweaty interview than the first one i promise. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: i've gotten a little bit better. how was the holidays? >> oh man, holidays were great. we did christmas here. but then for new year's we went to st. martin's, which is beautiful, i love st. martin's. we went there for new year's right. but the thing is, i get back here and i have all these mosquito bites. and i look crazy scratching mosquito bites in the cold. you can't tell people, i got mosquito bites. then they're going, "no bitch, you got bedbugs." [ laughter and applause ] you know, you got bedbugs. you got bedbugs. i'm like, no they're mosquito bites! i swear! >> jimmy: prove it! exactly. >> i had my pants down. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you bring the twin, the kids, too? >> to st. martin, yes, yes. >> jimmy: how old are they now? >> they're almost 5. they're 4 1/2. >> jimmy: that's right, aww how cute. >> it's crazy. congratulations to you and your wife. you got, you know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you so much.
1:06 am
yes. a little baby. unbelievable. >> isn't it crazy? >> jimmy: absolutely unbelievable. >> isn't it crazy? you didn't have to fill out any forms. you didn't have to take a class. you just did it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> said, look, i'm going to get a baby. [ laughter ] and then they just gave you a baby. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and no lessons or nothing. just here, go raise this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. raise this. i have no idea what i'm doing. >> that's it. no idea. it's crazy. >> jimmy: she's teething right now and she's doing this thing, where she's going like -- like an old grandma. kind of like doing -- her chin, her face is so tiny and small. so cute. it's awesome. i'm loving every minute of it. twins, that's a different deal, though. >> it is. because it's two of those. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. [ laughter ] >> at the same time. >> jimmy: do they get along? >> they get along, they get along. but -- having kids is like going to prison, but a nice prison. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. >> no. a very nice prison. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> you know, you get to leave to go for work. they got a work release program. [ laughter ]
1:07 am
but you're in cell block baby. [ laughter ] you know, before you and your wife would go to dinner. have drinks, have fun, not even looking at the time. you just left when you felt like going home. now you're like, "oh, we got to get home before the nanny puts the baby outside. come on y'all. we be out running. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: puts the baby outside. yeah. i got to get a new nanny. [ light laughter ] but you also have dog, too. right? >> yes. you have a dog? >> jimmy: i have a dog. i love my dog. she's a little jealous. i think a little jealous, because a lot of attention goes to the baby. >> my dog is beyond jealous, but he's like just mad at me. because i've had this dog riley, i've had him for ten years. before, it was just us. just the two of us. he went everywhere with us. with me. and now with the kids, you know, like 7:00 in the morning, the house is a mess. there's noise, the kids are returning around, and riley just looks at me like, "you messed up, man. [ laughter ] remember when it was just us?
1:08 am
we should be in vegas right now." [ laughter and applause ] come on, man. >> jimmy: take the dog to vegas. [ laughter and applause ] all right. now we got a big weekend here for you. i know you're a new orleans saints fan. >> yes, yes, who dat! >> jimmy: who dat, yeah. the saints and the seahawks, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: this week. are you superstitious when you watch the game? >> i'm very superstitious. i'm nervous we already talked about them. >> jimmy: all right. i won't say anything -- >> i'm very superstitious. i wear a jersey, and if we win, then i wear that jersey the next game. >> jimmy: i know about that. >> if we lose, i can't wear that jersey anymore, and then i have my drink. if i'm drinking a beer and all of a sudden, "oh, they scored. they scored. vodka club. give me a vodka club." i push my drink. [ laughter ] fumble, oh shoot. tequila shot, tequila shot! [ laughter ] because, you know, i control the game. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you do, yeah. you will wear, like, an old dirty jersey and be drunk. >> yes, yes.
1:09 am
>> jimmy: for the saints. >> we get a win, i'm happy. that's all that matters. >> jimmy: let's not talk about it anymore. let's just see what happens. let's talk about "herlarious." >> yes. >> jimmy: oh my gosh, first of all, great title, i love it. "herlarious," it's on own. and oprah is your boss. >> oprah is my boss. but isn't oprah everybody's boss? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, a little bit. a little bit. i think she basically, yeah. yeah. i think yes. she's everybody's boss, a little bit. >> she's great. she's incredible. >> jimmy: do you know her? do you talk to her and hang out? >> yes, i talk. see, everyone wants to go there with me. they want me to think that, "oh, you hang out with oprah." no. i would love to hang out with oprah, but, you know, i can't let my mind go there, like, oprah and i are friends now. you know? 'cause, you know, i'll get all caught up, because i love oprah. i've watched her for years. back in baltimore. i know all the oprahs, all of the, the big oprah, the little oprah. [ laughter ] the big hair oprah, the short haired oprah. the no hair oprah. i love all the oprahs! i love all the oprahs.
1:10 am
>> jimmy: i don't have that in my collection. i need the no hair oprah. i'd trade you. >> yeah. that was a bad perm. >> jimmy: that was a bad perm. >> i love all of that! i remember all of that! i know all of the oprahs. i can't get caught up. >> jimmy: you can't get caught up. >> i can't let my mind go there, like, oh, oh. okay. i see oprah and the first lady is in hawaii. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i like hawaii. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't get a phone call. >> i didn't get a phone call. >> jimmy: wanda, where are you playing next? you're all over the place. you're on tour. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: going to washington, going to colorado. >> colorado, yeah. >> jimmy: boulder, colorado. >> you been there? >> jimmy: i just did the a show in denver. great crowd. >> yeah, they're great. yeah. you know everybody's going to be high. so, it's okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: they're going to be a good audience. they're gonna laugh too much. you tell one joke, and you're done. wanda sykes, everybody. "herlarious" airs saturday night at 10:00 p.m. on own. f. murray abraham joins us next. come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:11 am
[ female announcer ] how do you eat your eggo? ♪ you can start with the syrup, pour it on top, maybe not ♪ ♪ apple chunks and cinnamon and honey if you got ♪ ♪ bring on the chocolate spread ♪ ♪ somethin' green, somethin' blue, somethin' orange, somethin' red ♪ ♪ ham and egg, tomato sandwich ♪ cut it nice and do some damage ♪ ♪ cream cheese, pomegranate ♪ make it look like jack or janet ♪ ♪ x's and o's and a tic tac toe ♪ ♪ you can fill in the holes, let the syrup flow, yeah ♪ ♪ stack it, snack it, maybe you can bend it ♪ ♪ you can slice it up and dice it up ♪ ♪ and big it up and friend it [ female announcer ] there are millions of ways to eggo! try one of our fun recipes on facebook... and eggo your way! ♪ just l'eggo my eggo
1:12 am
[ mait brings togethert's dieveryone's favorite flavors, new table for two. like savory garlic herb shrimp over wood-fire grilled chicken and chili ginger salmon topped with tangy pineapple salsa. nothing brings you together like table for two. two salads...two entrees... plus an appetizer or dessert to share, all for just $29.99. table for two is too good to miss! so come sea quality, sea variety, sea food differently at red lobster. [ male announcer ] this is smooth and precise on-road handling. this is total confidence and comfort. this is easy-to-use off-road capability when you need it. this is seventy and counting safety and security features. ♪ this is the freedom to keep chasing all the horizons you want. introducing the all-new 2014 jeep cherokee. ♪
1:13 am
well-qualified lessees can lease the all-new 2014 jeep cherokee sport for $259 a month. i know, but better because it's not thanksgiving. the hotel wasn't nice to your father. we're staying here. when's dinner going to be ready? ok, yeah. i think you would have a better chance of catching the football if you put the phone down! ahh! five-second rule. ahh! oh! yeah, this is much better. [ male announcer ] slow roasted and carved thick. oscar mayer carving board gives you all the taste of the holidays, without all the hassle. it's holiday, any day food. it's oscar mayer.
1:14 am
1:15 am
1:16 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an academy award-winning actor who you know from films like "amadeus," oh, my gosh it was great. and "scarface," oh, my gosh. and the television show "homeland," oh, my goodness. you can currently see him in the new movie "inside llewyn davis," which is up for three golden globe awards this weekend. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome f. murray abraham! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hello boys, hello, gentlemen. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being on our show.
1:17 am
you know, i'm a giant fan of you. >> i think the name "bo nibblin'" is the name of a blues singer. >> jimmy: yeah, bone nibblin, he had two records and he got -- got ripped off. [ laughter ] bo nibblin. >> bo nibblin'. >> jimmy: the bone nibblin' man. ♪ bone nibbling all day. ♪ ooh-ooh thank you for coming in there. [ laughter ] left me hanging there. probably a g-chord, something probably simple like that. no big deal. check your texts, do whatever you're doing. no problem. that's cool. [ laughter and applause ] i don't know why i come to rehearsal. i don't know why. man, oh, man. so let's just jump right in to it. i gotta say, you're incredible. great actor. i love everything you do. >> what was that? >> jimmy: you're incredible. [ laughter ] you're a great actor. and in everything you do. but "amadeus," you were un-un-unbelievable in that movie.
1:18 am
that is untoppable. untoppable. >> a long time ago, man. >> jimmy: i know it was a long time ago, but i have to bring it up because we never met. i have to tell you. you played salieri, and how old were you when you did that? >> 40. >> jimmy: 40 years old and playing him at 74 years old in the movie. right? >> right. >> jimmy: and how old are you now? >> 74. >> jimmy: you're 74, we have a split screen. just look in camera two there. this is what you look like in the movie. that's what you look like -- you look much better. you look pretty good. it's much better than what you did there. look at this. [ cheers and applause ] amazing makeup they did there. how did you -- that's the secret right there. the tongue. how did you? you've made your tongue look old. how did you make your tongue look old? >> i can't tell you, man. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. come on! that's the secret right there. i remember watching going, "i'm freaking out." because i'd never seen anyone do this type of acting. your tongue was like an old man's tongue. i go -- i just thought it was unbelievable. it freaked me out. it was the best thing. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i did research on
1:19 am
you and i found out you were filming "scarface" as you were doing "amadeus." that must have been crazy. >> yeah it was. >> jimmy: that's two totally different movies. >> it was a treat. it was like one vacation from the other. it was really neat. >> jimmy: yeah, but where did you shoot "amadeus"? >> in prague, czechoslovakia. >> jimmy: how was czechoslovakia? >> it was under communism at the time. the russians had control of it. and it was great, because the people were so fabulous. we would do things, like, in basements and stuff, because the kgb was watching and stuff like that. >> jimmy: for real? >> i don't know what they were looking for. yeah, for real. but it was fine. it was great. wonderful people. >> jimmy: and then you'd fly to where, miami or something, to do "scarface"? >> no, we did it in hollywood. we did a couple weeks in miami. but the rest of it was in hollywood. it was really interesting because there wasn't much happening in prague, except for the people. there was nothing much to eat. it was always like -- it was really sad. you know? except for the people. then you fly, you get first-class. fly over to hollywood and you eat like a pig, and you live like a king. >> jimmy: waving your little bag of pretzels over czechoslovakia. you're like, "look, we have them up here." >> i still have friends there in
1:20 am
czechoslovakia. >> jimmy: do you really? >> yeah. great people. yeah, after 30 years, good people. >> jimmy: that's just amazing to me -- >> some of the hottest women in the world are in prague. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: we should go there in a couple of weeks. let's go check out prague. we can just hang out. [ laughter ] but you won the oscar for "amadeus." that's amazing. won the oscar, totally deserved it. now you have the oscar, what do you do with it? >> my mother, god rest her soul, had it. and i'm a good italian son. but now it's with my italian agent in rome. i love him like a brother, so he has it. he has my oscar. >> jimmy: your agent has it? what does he do with it? just toy with it? >> i don't know. that's his own business, man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't ask him what he does with it? you don't want to know? >> i'm going to pick it up at the end of this month. go over and do a little thing. little publicity for a picture i did. but then i'm going to bring it back. 'cause it appears in every play i ever do. >> jimmy: it does? >> yeah, it's appeared. quietly, like in trash cans, in drawers, stuff like that. >> jimmy: so no one knows that it's there, but it's somewhere? >> just the cast knows, generally. >> jimmy: so there's a little easter egg. next time we see you on stage. >> you never know where it's going to be. sometimes they fly it in.
1:21 am
but i give to do the stage manager and they dress it up sometimes. i got all kinds of costumes for it. >> jimmy: do you really? [ laughter ] >> no, really, i do. like little tutus and they dress it up like in a surfer's outfit. got a surfboard, glasses. really. >> jimmy: well next time i see -- i wish there was a code word i can say. >> i'll let you know. >> jimmy: maybe if i see it somewhere, i'll yell, "hooty-hoo!" [ laughter ] that would mean i know i saw where the oscar is. >> you're a silly man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. i'm a silly man! for real. [ laughter and applause ] >> if you say "hooty-hoo" at one of my plays, i'm going to say "get outta here!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and i'll go, "this is all part of the act, everybody." "inside llewyn davis." i loved you in that. the coen brothers, they just seem like they're cool, cool dudes. they seem like they're smart. they seem like they have a great sense of humor. are they fun to work with? are they cool? >> they're not impressed with themselves. it's like, when they got to these publicity things, you know, these events where people dress up.
1:22 am
they show up in plaid. you know? they're just cool. >> jimmy: cool like that. >> but you've got to go to one of the sets and see them shot. because they're just who they are. they're cool. they're comfortable. they're fun. >> jimmy: you play a character who is very cool and fun in this movie. and basically if you, impress you in the movie, you become a star. basically. >> a kind of producer. >> jimmy: a big time producer. so right now we have a clip, where it's llewyn davis trying to impress you to see if he's going to be big time or not. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a tricky movie. it's good. a clip of f. murray abraham. "inside llewyn davis." hooty-hoo! [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry, do you know me? >> no. >> mel novikoff sent you my record about a month ago? "inside llewyn davis"? >> oh, you're with mel. >> yeah, yeah. just in chicago, just passing through. um -- do you like the record? >> i don't know. i didn't get it. >> well -- here it is. this is it anyways. um --
1:23 am
that will be $5. [ laughter ] i was joking. >> uh-huh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] f. murray abraham, "inside llewyn davis" is in theaters right now. parquet courts performs next. come on back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ female announcer ] puffs knows winter is hard on your face. [ sneezes ] [ female announcer ] the start of sneeze season. the wind-blown watery eyes. [ sniffling ] the sniffling guy on the bus. and, of course, the snow angels with your little angels. that's why puffs plus lotion is soft. puffs plus are dermatologist tested to be gentle. they help soothe irritated skin by locking in moisture better. so you can always put your best face forward. a face in need deserves puffs indeed.
1:24 am
woman: you were right, that loaded breakfast sandwich was loaded. eggs, bacon, ham -- man: and cheese. i'll get the bill. woman: it's okay. it's on me. man: but the sandwiches were only $4 each. woman: i know. that's why it's on me. [ bell dings ] waitress: hey, welcome to denny's. the chill of peppermint. the rich dark chocolate. york peppermint pattie get the sensation.
1:25 am
we're gonna be late. ♪ ♪ ♪ oh are we early? [ male announcer ] commute your way with the bold, all-new nissan rogue. ♪
1:26 am
1:27 am
1:28 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guests are making their network tv debut with us tonight to perform "stoned and starving," which rolling stone ranked as their number six single of 2013. it's from their album "light up gold." please welcome parquet courts! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i was walking through ridgewood queens i was flippin through magazines i was so stoned
1:29 am
and starving ♪ ♪ i was reading ingredients asking myself should i eat this i was so stoned and starving ♪ ♪ i was debating sweedish fish roasted peanuts or licorice i was so stoned and starving ♪ ♪ i was walking through ridgewood queens i was flippin through magazines i was so stoned and ♪ ♪ ♪
1:30 am
♪ i was walking through ridgewood queens i was flippin through magazines i was so stoned and starving ♪ ♪ i was holding some wadded bills i was reading that smoking kills i was so stoned and starving ♪ ♪ i was scratching off silver ink i was deciding what to drink i was so stoned and starving ♪ ♪ i was walking through ridgewood queens i was flippin through magazines i was so stoned and ♪ ♪
1:31 am
♪ ♪ ♪
1:32 am
♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: parquet courts. check out their album "light up gold." see them live, january 14th right here in new york. we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
1:33 am
1:34 am
1:35 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to wanda sykes, f. murray abraham, parquet courts! [ cheers and applause ] karen jones over there! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "carson daly." thanks for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

670 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on